"Macho, macho man. I want to be a macho man." We've all heard this Village People song numerous times in our lives. I've always found the tune to be uplifting, a bit goofy, but downright truthful. The world we live in today faces what I consider to be a bit of a male crisis, if you will. This crisis is an identity crisis. Especially for younger men these days, it can be difficult to dig deep and discover what type of man you really want to be and are meant to be.
We are constantly bombarded by what I call "programmed mental images" created by film, TV, ads, you name it. Some men think "macho man" means stick your chest out, pump a bunch of iron, date multiple women, be at the top of the pecking order, drive expensive cars, and don't let anybody hold you down. On the flip side, there are many other men who reach for mass social morality to give them their sense of identity in this world. For example, choosing to completely deny their male existence because they believe it is toxic. While this may seem like a truer direction to take for some, I believe it's just another extreme version of "macho man" taken in the opposite direction, but still veering far from where a true man's character lies. True men are not toxic. True men are leaders with strong values, character, and direction. They don't care as much about how they are perceived, but more so what positive difference they are making for the lives of their loved ones and their community.
Unfortunately, many men these days feel it is important to read "self-help" dating books that teach you how to manipulate women and others to get what you want while doing as little work as possible. Does that sound like a healthy way to contribute to humanity? My gut screams: hell no! All it takes is a quick google search for "how do I get girls to like me?" or "how do I become attractive to women?" and you'll quickly find articles and sales pitches for e-books claiming to teach men how to be badasses that have women eating out of the palm of their hand. While many men crash and burn executing these playbooks, many men are successful at employing these tactics to get what they think they want from women. The reality is, though, that these so called "men" are baiting insecure women into a chase that ultimately ruins their lives. It's a sad cycle, but it is there in a big way and it's incredibly harmful not just to women, but to the reputation of men in general. Good men, great men get lumped into the basket of "all men are dicks". This is a sad reality. Too many women these days are stuck thinking there are no good men left or they're all married. This is not true, but the answer lies among men. We can make things better.
Men need to make morals sexy again and turn this status quo on its head. Real men who spend their time constantly improving and trying to get stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually are those that need to prop up our gender moving forward. Real men are the ones that are emotionally there for their girlfriends, wives, or partners, but also practicing things like their home defense skills on the shooting range on Sunday afternoon. Real men are the ones that say, "Honey, I'm making dinner tonight. You've had a long day. You go take a hot bath and relax while I cook." Real men say, "I love you." Real men try to cry even if tears don't come out because they realize the importance of expressing their emotions in other ways than just getting pissed off and screaming.
More than anything, men need a community of like-minded strong men who believe this identity of a true man is imperative to the success of our society moving forward. Having a heart and being tough should be two qualities that are constantly intertwined in the definition of today's modern man. Guys, women need us to be there for them. The more that we can prop them up, I guarantee you that they will do the same in return. The result: STRONG future generations of men and women that work together and treat each other like they deserve to be treated.
In the words of Village People: "
Every man ought to be a macho, macho man
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand
Have your own lifestyles and ideals
Possess the strength of confidence, that's the skill
You can best believe that he's a macho man
He's the special god son in anybody's land.
Men, let's take a stand... for our siblings, kids, and future grandkids. They need us...